I want to undo all of the feelings felt
The words spoken
Into the dark of night
No one may have heard them except me
But it was enough.
Just knowing that they exist, that they hang in the air
Heavy when I walk into the room, suffocating in the night
They consume me, take over my mind when I try to find solace
Rest is an impossible dream
All I want to do is banish them somewhere far away
Where I can no longer hear them
looming over me, imposing.
Just far enough away that I can start to forget
Start to start over again.
And a look forward…
These are the words that get caught in my throat. The ones never vocalized because they choke themselves before I get a chance to free them. Vocal suicide. Or maybe it is more of a self-sacrifice, knowing that if I were to let them out, to put them into the wild, they would not be tame enough to live in peace. The would create a chaos, hurting innocent things and damaging surroundings because they do not know better. They know that sometimes things are better left unsaid, and so they stop before they can ever take form.
These are the words I think to myself every single day of my life. Some of them I think about every waking minute. Every second would be an exaggeration for all, but every minute is only an exaggeration for most. Some of them are happy words, locked away out of humbleness and humility. Others are not-so-happy, hiding due to fear.
I cannot even bring myself to type them at times. Fingers hover over the letters, knowing what they want to spell but unable to press down hard enough to make the connection, to make the impact. They pause, they consider, but they always stop. Just in case you are reading this. Because these words are meant for you, and that is exactly why I cannot write them.
I wrote this little blurb last night and shared it with some strangers on the internet. They thought I should get a a Tumblr. I’ve never had one before, and I’m usually pretty secretive about my writing, but I figured hey, why not? Maybe it’s terrible, or maybe it’s alright. Maybe it won’t be a complete waste of other people’s time to glance through. I’d love feedback of any kind, positive or negative, just try not to bash it, please? A little tact goes a long way. :D But constructive criticism is more than welcomed!
So many words that fill the formerly empty spaces on those perfectly lined pages. So many thoughts you didn’t realize that you had until you put the pen down on the pad. Let the ink bleed through, little bits of you, finally showing through.
So there is was. The namesake of this Tumblr page, Formerly Empty Spaces. I hope to fill many more empty spaces in the future, and I hope you enjoy!